Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love black thongs
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
