hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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