yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
