How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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