If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
