Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
