I'm really into asian looking animals
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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