so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
