and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
