connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
