I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
