His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Randomize
