i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
