that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
