this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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