I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
