So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
