Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
