i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
