All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I met the friendliest cop last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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