she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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