spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
did you just send me my own nude
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
