yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
