So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
