so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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