Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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