I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I cut my penus on the lid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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