I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I deserve this hangover.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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