I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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