I CAN MOONWALK!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
