I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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