The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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