I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
