Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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