I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
