Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
