This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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