I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
