Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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