and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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