none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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