Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
