is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
