Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
