Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
