my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
