we're blogging at a bar
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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