Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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