I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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