You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
