it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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