Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize