he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
