but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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