ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
