if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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