Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They took my balls.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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