me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
